What a beauty she was

It is like a volcanicexplosion-like feeling

Here and there

Now and again

It bursts

Out of my eyes

The sadness

It's me being selfish 

Thinking about myself 

My own life without her 

But mostly

Me morning with my dad

For my dad

I cannot imagine the feeling of loosing your mother

Must be horrendous

Weird that it is a natural thing...

When it must hurt so fucking much

He's so incredible 

So supporting

So amazingly fatherly 

All I want is simply to be there for him

With all my being 

Skin and bones 

Tears and sadness

Not only with the spirit this time

Not this time

Not this time

Not this time

He needs to know he's not alone 

Never will be

She was rock-hard strong

So brave

So incredibly fearless

And so loving and caring at the same time

I still struggle to believe it

I'll miss her hugs

Her words

Her laugh

Her cigarettes
Her bread and butter 

Her fresh fruit I'd always take with me

But it's not the end for her

It's the end of her life in this world

That's all

That comforts me 

What a beauty she was